December; hell month.

December hasn’t been turning out so well for me. And to think, this should have been the 'Christmas month' and I should enjoy it even if it's not fun at all. I don’t know why I expect that, but that’s the way I feel. Ironically, December just came and will finish quickly, and to top it all off, it was the opposite of my expectations. It was nothing like I imagined it would be. And I'm expecting that up to the last day of the stupid month, fucked up things will keep on happening. To make matters worse, most of them will be probably because of Tsanak and her fucking best friend. I don’t even wanna think about it anymore. :(

I’ll just focus on today’s happening, which is really something very common but something I can’t ever seem to get over. Hmm.. Where do I start? First thing in the morning, my dad and I just quarreled because of 'me' forgetting to wake him up and now he's putting all the blame on me. Is waking him up in the morning MY JOB? I guess not. Because that's what he also tells me. Fuck off, father. So yeah, when I reached school, our prefect of discipline just noticed me wearing 'vulgar' or 'revealing' clothes. I mean, what the hell? I was just wearing a simple white shirt and a blue bra! Why should he make a big deal out of it? 'Edi wag nyang tingnan, diba? Simple as that. He made me wear my abaya. Okay, that sucks. And the most annoying thing that happened, I saw Tsanak. And that - really SUCKS big time. And when I got home from school, I was really feeling so dizzy, that I can't even walk. So I took a shower and immediately ran off to bed.

And yeah, here I am now. In front of my laptop, and it's 3:17 in the morning, and I'm experiencing severe coughing and I feel like DYING. God, how I wish mama was here. :( So, yeah.. I think I'll be absent for today. Even though there's a lot of homeworks assigned. And there's even a quiz. How I hate my life.

Define love.

How do you define love? Some say it's mysterious, magical, complex, difficult, imaginary, thought-provoking, inspirational, intuitional, joyous, immeasurable, ecstasy, and undefinable, perhaps. Studies have shown that brain scans of those infatuated by love display a resemblance to those with a mental illness. Therefore, to love is so similar to that of drugs because without love, humanity would die out. Agree?

I, myself, can't tell whether I am infatuated by love or NOT. 'Cause if I admit that I am in love, then I also admit that I am mentally sick. But no, I am not. But for now, I think that I can feel something new. More.. deeper. And CRAZIER. What to call this? I have no friggin' idea. And the cause? Of course, the boy behind all these shits. Hmm.. Interesting huh? I don't wanna tell the whole story, all right. 'Cause you might laugh at me. But one thing's for sure. Love represents a range of human emotions and experiences related to the senses of affection and sexual attraction.

In reality, whether we love, or not, we are all mentally sick. Admit the fact.

ROFLOLMAO!

They said that best friends are the siblings God forgot to give us. Well, that's what I also thought. BEFORE. But now? I think God gave me a best friend for me to love, to take care of, and to be my other half. *smug

I can't really write here the actual story! WHAT THE HELL?! I so wanna laugh! God, damn! LMFAO!

Third quarter.

Okay, 3rd quarter. Second to the last quarter 'till I finish my 3rd year in high school. This year is interesting but, STRESSFUL. I so hate this quarter! I have a lot of stuffs to do, I have a lot of things to BUY, there's a lot of tasks assigned to me, and I cannot reject them. I have to do these stuffs orderly, properly, and pleasantly. Wthell? I'm so doomed! ><

Grabe na toh! Sheet. Nkakapagod na. Woo. Punong puno ng quizzes! Tambak sa assignments at lalo na sa mga projects. Di ba nila naiintidihan na may mas mga mahahalagang bagay kaming iniintindi dito sa sarili naming pamamahay? When teachers tell us that we have to cooperate because they're busy. We should also tell 'em they need to have mercy on us and they also need to have kind consideration because I, myself have own personal problems. Right? Gosh! I never thought Junior life would be this hard and hectic! I am sooooo full of it! I'm so tired and haggard! I feel so wasted everyday! I only get maybe, 4 to 5 hours of sleep every midnight! Dayumn!

Nov'09'09 - Fifteen

Fifteen 15! Wala lang. It's my birthday today! I feel happy. I feel so energetic. Nararamdaman ko ang pagdadalaga ko! Hahahahaha! ROFLMAO! ;p

'Cause when you're fifteen, all you want is to be wanted.

Problems.

I've been trying to sleep without thinking of what will happen for the next day. I've been trying to eat without thinking what will happen to my figure after eating. I've been trying to sing without thinking what people will think about my voice. I've been trying to shop without thinking what my co-students will think of me. All these time, I've been trying not to care about all the dramas surrounding me. 'Cause I'm sick of it.

I sleep, I eat, I laugh, I smile, I cry, I love, I miss, I shop, I flirt, and I get mad. Why? Because I'm normal. But the thing is, I'm totally CAREFUL. I mean, I just hate the fact that whatever happens with the things surrounding me which involves me, I totally care about it. I think of how I solve it. I can never be called as, happy-go-lucky girl. For me, it's just not right. I don't think you should just set aside problems which involves you. You should always think for the possible solution for it. Like for example, love problems. I totally hate having this kind of problem. I mean, UGH. I am too young for this. It's just, love picks no age. Right? I know I'm right. And what I also hate the most are the people who get REALLY insecure. Damn, they just hate me a lot, don't they? Why don't they mind their own flaws?

And one thing.. If you ask me for the honest truth, I hate getting bossed around and talked shit. So, all you niggas out there who wants to put me in shame, you better BACK OFF, if you still want to see the next rising of the sun. Nah. Kidding. I'm bored. Totally, BORED. Obvious, isn't it?

Pagibig KUNO.

Tae lang. Magtatagalog muna ko, ah? Hindi naman importante lingwahe sa mga ganitong blogs eh. Nakakainis lang kasi. Bakit ba ang dami daming tanga pagdating sa pagibig? Ano ba meron? Makakain ba yan?

Nagtataka lang ako. Dun sa mga single kuno. May iba na, natutuwa kasi nagiisa lang sila sa buhay. Masaya na daw sila kasi may mga kaibigan naman daw. Freedom nga, sabi nga iba. Walang kokontrol kung gaano ka dami ang iinomin mo, walang magsusuway kung makipaglandian ka sa iba, at lalong lalo, walang magseselos kung makipaghalikan ka dyan sa tabi tabi. Di ba nila alam na, mas masaya yung pakiramdam na may taong palaging nandyan para sayo. Handa kang saluhin kapag nahulog ka, handa kang itayo kung madapa ka, at handang handa masaktan para lang mailigtas ka. Hindi ba nila naisip yun?

Eh dun sa mga malalandi at hindi makuntento sa iisang tao? Pucha, ano nga bang tawag sainyo? Wala akong maisip. Mga haliparot. Landi kayo ng landi. Bat hindi kayo maghanap ng taong seseryoso sainyo at seseryosohin kayo? Hindi ba ninyo mapigilan ang kalikutan ng katawan at bibig ninyo? Magsiayos nga kayo. Sinasabi nyo, nagsasawa kayo agad? Eh sus, ano naman? Kung gugustuhin ninyo, magagawa nyo. Sabi nga nila, "Kung gusto, may paraan. Kung ayaw, palaging may dahilan." Tama ba ko?

Eh pano naman yung mga hopeless romantic dito? Eto yung mga taong, WOW. Iniwan na nga, hahabulin pa din. Sinaktan na nga, nakangiti pa din. Binusted na nga, mangliligaw pa din. Pinahiya na nga, nakabuntot pa din. Ano tawag sainyo? Eto, sure ako. TANGA kayo! Kung magmamahal ka, hindi lang dapat PUSO ang gagamitin. Kaya nga binigyan ng UTAK, para magamit sa tama. At hindi gawing tanga ang sarili. "Walang gamot sa tanga, kung hindi pagkukusa." Sabi nga ni Bob Ong. Bat di nyo subukan gamutin ang sarili ninyo? Baka umubra at sumaya kayo.

Eto, isa pa. Mga MANLOLOKO. Ahh, eto. Pinaka ayaw ko sa lahat. Tulad ng sinasabi dun sa No Fear, "Been there, done that." Kung tanga ka, di mo toh gets. Kung nakakarelate ka, aba'y magsama tayo at ng EX ko. Ito pinakagago at pinaka masakit na pangyayari kung ikaw ay nasa isang relasyon. Bakit? Pano ba naman, binigay mo ang lahat, pinakita ang lahat, sinabi ang lahat, at MINAHAL NG LUBOS. Ang sukli sayo? Sakit at panlilinlang. Ano magagawa mo? Magagalit ka? Anong mapapala mo? Natapos na eh. At dun naman sa mga manloloko dyan sa tabi tabi. Aba! Magisip nga kayo. Bakit hindi ninyo subukan ituwid ang buhay ninyo at baka sakaling umasenso kayo at umusad ang buhay nyo. Subukan nyo lang. Bago mahuli ang lahat at bumalik sainyo ang ginawa nyo.

At ang huli, happily in love. Eto yung gusto ko eh. Wala ko masabi, ingatan nyo nalang partners nyo. Maswerte kayo at may ganyan sainyo. Yung iba? Ayun. Stucked sa isa sa mga namention ko sa taas. Wag nyo na gayahin. Magpakatino ng umasenso! Diba? :P